4 TYPES OF INTROVERTS & WHAT MAKES THEM GREAT PARTNERS
Good Evening Fam,
This week's secret question made the entire team let out a collective awwwwwwww. We LOVE our introverts (half the team is introverted), and this question felt like it needed special attention today.
Hey Mike,
I know you guys talk about "feeling seen," but I am a huge introvert and I'm struggling to understand what that means for me. I don't know if I've ever felt seen and sometimes I wonder if anyone really wants to date an introvert. It seems like all the power couples I see are so extroverted and sexy and "out there," and I'm just over here drinking tea in sweatpants and hoping to meet someone who likes my cat. Please send help.
Sincerely,
Meow?
Dear Meow?
We love you. We love this question. We love your cat.
And help has arrived.
We decided to kick things off by defining the difference between introverts and extroverts for the Fam so we can work through this question together.
The primary difference between an extrovert and an introvert is not that one is necessarily quieter or more cat-loving than the other. Extroverts just gain energy from being around other people, while introverts gain energy from being alone.
To answer your question, let's talk about the 4 different types of introverts and why they make such terrific partners!
The 4 Types of Introverts are: social, thinking, anxious, and restrained.
THE SOCIAL INTROVERT.
Social introverts often get perceived as shy in social settings, but that's not always true. They simply prefer to go out with a select group rather than a large crowd. When crowds get too large, social introverts prefer to dip back home to recharge alone. They're not shy. They're selective.
Why social introverts make great partners:
Social introverts naturally build strong social networks and establish deeply connected communities that either partner can call in anytime they are in trouble. (*Bonus* Leaving a large, crowded party early creates more time in bed...if you know what we mean 😉)
THE THINKING INTROVERT.
Thinking introverts are often deep in their thoughts, wondering about life. They don't avoid social situations or mind the presence of other people, but they are typically very pensive, introspective, and prone to getting lost inside their dreamy imaginations.
Why thinking introverts make great partners:
The thinking introvert's reflective nature may present as disconnection at first, but it's an opportunity and invitation for deeper, richer, and more profound conversations that bring couples much closer together. (*Bonus* Dreamers are often keen to try roleplay! 😏)
THE ANXIOUS INTROVERT.
In contrast to social introverts, anxious introverts purposely isolate themselves to avoid the social spotlight. They feel awkward and may not be confident with social skills, which can further exacerbate anxiety. The anxious introvert is actually desperate to be understood (aren't we all?) and be with someone who can relate to the experience of anxiety in the body and mind.
Why anxious introverts make great partners:
Anxious introverts make the greatest confidantes. Because they have experienced anxiety and stress, they know that holding secrets close, building trust, and creating safe spaces is essential. This massively benefits intimacy and supports mental health conversations inside relationships. (*Bonus* Because sex and intimacy reduce stress, the experience of practicing "stress-reduction" together can be advantageous! *wink wink*)
THE RESTRAINED INTROVERT.
Restrained introverts prefer to think before they speak. They need to gather their thoughts and observe their surroundings before speaking or acting. These introverts shy away from spontaneous situations and are very careful when making decisions, but that doesn't mean they don't want to be in relationships or around people. They simply want to ensure those situations don't drain their energy or create unnecessary stress.
Why restrained introverts make great partners:
Restrained introverts are fantastic listeners. It's part of who they are and they generally don't have to work very hard to tune in or “read between the lines.” Nothing is more powerful in relationships than communication, so snagging yourself a restrained introvert is a gift! (*Bonus* If you happen to love traveling with romantic partners, restrained introverts make great vacation planners because they think through every scenario before making any decisions. Less vacation stress = more sand-in-strange-places pleasure.)
The Bottom Line: We all have to recharge sometime. Understanding how people recharge is essential to respecting boundaries, allowing for adequate me-time inside relationships, assisting in compromise and communication, and reducing anxiety or stress.
In other words, all things essential to great relationships and headboard-rattling sex.
Meow, both extroverts and introverts need to feel valued for what they bring to a relationship and we guarantee you (and your precious cat) will find the right partner who sees those values and loves you as much as we do.
The key is in knowing your own value first.
Mike and The Feeling Seen Team
